ZIAM Episode 33: Making Fear Work For YOU
Think about what you are afraid of today.
Maybe you’re afraid of not being able to lose that last 10 pounds? Or you’re fearful that you will not be able to afford college tuition for your kids? Perhaps you’re scared that the world is falling apart around you?
Today I want to talk about fear and give you the fastest way to manage fear in your life.
I want to talk about fear and the way that we interact with fear in our lives. If you have thoughts that are fearful that come up for you, give you a new opportunity as a way to look at it, a way to look at a gift that fear is bringing that you may not have had the opportunity to recognize yet.I really do believe in the law of attraction and manifestation principles. Over the years, I have practiced…since 1993, actually, a long, long time…I’ve found that it’s actually very true. It’s so funny. Even my husband, who says he does not believe in the law of attraction, I find that he does, because he’s superstitious. There’s things he doesn’t want to bring up. He doesn’t want to jinx things. He’s got a little bit of a superstitious personality. If you’re superstitious at all, then you are thinking of the law of attraction. If you speak about something, it might come true. You don’t want to jinx it. That kind of thing. Regardless what we put our attention on, it has a tendency to come to us, it has a tendency to manifest, to get created in our life. If you look around, every big, giant skyscraper, bridge, massive things that we’ve done as a human being, started from one idea and a whole bunch of people putting their attention and focus on it to make it come true.
Now, you may have heard my podcast that talks about how I see worry as a negative prayer. The more you think about something in a way that’s bad or worrisome, the more that you’re in the same mode as you would be in praying. Well, what I’ve discovered over the years is that fear is the actual opposite of desire. I’ll say that again. When we’re afraid, we are doing the opposite of putting out a desire. All manifestation starts with a desire. I’ll say that again. All manifestation starts with a desire. You have to want something. You have to be putting your attention on something. It can be everything from, “I want a cheeseburger,” and you end up getting yourself a cheeseburger to “I want my children to do really well in school and to take all the opportunities that they can possibly ever desire.” It could be, “I want to lose 10 pounds.” It could be, “I want a new job.” It could be, “I have a desire to contribute to the world.” What happens is over our lifetime, we don’t actually, let’s say, put these desires out in the world. We have a tendency to have a quick desire that comes through, and we pooh-pooh it. We say we can’t have it; it’s too hard; or we don’t take action on it.
Over time, these desires that are blossoming inside of us begin to turn into fear. In my opinion, from what I’ve discovered in working with many, many, many people in coaching and trainings, if you don’t express your desires, they turn into a feeling of fear. Now, think about it. “I’m afraid I’m not going to be able to contribute in this lifetime in the way that I want to. I’m afraid I’m never going to have a job that I truly love, waking up and bouncing out of bed in the morning. I’m afraid my kids are not going to have everything that they want, because I’m not going to be able to afford college or be able to afford the things that they need as a foundational piece. I’m afraid I’ll never lose that last 10 pounds.” Maybe you’re afraid you’ll never find love, or you’re afraid that the world is going to fall apart all around you. You’re watching the chaos that’s happening, and you’re afraid that the world is going to not be a place that’s going to survive much longer.
Well, here’s the thing. Those fears are actually desires that you’re not claiming, owning, and putting the energy towards in your life. They’re desires that are going unexpressed. The fastest way to manage fear in your life is to see what the underlying seed of desire is and express it. You don’t have to do it to another human being, although it is really good to speak things out loud, to write them in a journal, to put them into your prayers at night, to put them into your imagination, ruminating and imagining the amazing things happening for your kids, imagining having a career that you love and the feeling that you would have bouncing out of bed, and getting to make a contribution that is uniquely yours to make, the feeling and the desire behind that weight being gone, and how fit you feel, and how much energy you have, and how vibrant and sexy you feel in your body and healthy. These are the kinds of things. What happens is we have a tendency to focus on the fear, because it’s bubbling up from inside of our body. It gets loud. It’s getting loud in your body because it wants to be turned into a desire that is expressed. Because most of us don’t realize that, we just ruminate and sit in the fear. It keeps knocking on the door going, “Hello. Wake up, wake up, wake up. There’s something you’re not asking for that’s really important to you. There’s something that you need to be focusing on.” It feels like fear. It feels like lack. It feels like a hole, or a missing, or a gap inside the body. It literally feels like a missing in the body. There’s a tension. There’s a fear.
The first practice that I want to give you is if you do have… Not everybody lives in a place where there’s a lot of fear, but if you do have fears that are rising up in you over time, and there’s a lot of them, sit down and write them all out. I recommend you put two columns on a sheet of paper. Write them all out on one side. On the other side directly across put what you would want to have happen. What is the underlying desire? This is my fear: “I’m afraid that my kids are not going to have the kind of college education that I could provide them, because I’ve not been saving money for them.” Then the desire is, “I want my kids to have every opportunity that their hearts desire regardless of whether I’ve saved or not. Let them find their perfect path in the perfect way for that investment to come into our lives.”
Now, what will happen is your internal guidance system will open when you hit the desire that’s optimal, that’s the most true for you. Your internal guidance system will open up. Now, if you don’t know what your internal guidance system is, go to zeninamoment.com. I don’t go over it in every single podcast, because it takes a little bit of time. At zeninamoment.com, there is a video, where I walk you through physically feeling your internal guidance system. It’s something that you can actually feel in the moment. Take the time and go there. You’ll find that there’s an opening, and that opening sensation is literally the release of the fear and the expression of the desire. That’s a vibrational energy that’s going out into the universe and actually beginning to create that thing happening. It’s an expanded feeling. You’ll feel a release in the solar plexus area right where your rib cage comes together. You’ll feel an expanded, uplifted releasing of tension and fear in the chest area. Even for some people who have a lump in their throat, depending on which fear you’re examining in the moment, you’ll feel a release of the lump in your throat or a tightness and a blockage in the throat. This is the practice of turning your fears into desires to be expressed. In that, you’re actually focusing on the path that’s the most perfect path for you. You’re beginning to create from that fear the most perfect life for you.
This is Zen in a Moment. I want to thank you so much for listening. I hope this practice helps you. This is a profound practice. If you actually do it and work through all of your fears this way, you’ll be surprised at the synchronicities and the extraordinary things that begin to show up, especially if you have quite a bit of fear in your life. Please share this podcast. Send it along to a friend. Go to iTunes and give us a rating. It makes a huge difference in people being able to find this material. People who are in stress, worry, fear, anxiety—when they type that into iTunes, the ratings actually determine who comes up first. It would be a great gift to me if you could just go and give us a five-star rating in iTunes. Spread the word. Like they say, Alex Mendozian, my dear friend, “Sharing is caring.” Please share this with a friend. In the meantime, until we get an opportunity for us to be together again, I am sending you love and blessings.