ZIAM Episode 29: Worry is a Negative Prayer
We all tend to worry about the people in our lives. We worry about our children, our parents, our friends…
Worry is a negative prayer. It can really eat at you and cause you to feel anxiety and unhappiness.
In today’s podcast I’m going to share a solution that will give you something to do besides worry.
Do you worry about the people in your life? Maybe you’re concerned that your child is being bullied at school or not getting along, not having the friends that you know that they should have. Maybe you have an aging parent that is starting to show signs that they’re not going to be able to take care of themselves forever, and you’re not sure what to do. Does this kind of thing really eat at you, worrying about the people in your life that you love? Well, today’s show is going to help you with that, because I have a solution that will give you something to do besides worry. Worry is a negative prayer, and we all don’t want to be throwing our negative prayers around, now, do we?If you’ve been listening to my show for awhile, you know that I am all about your internal guidance system. There’s a few ways to use your internal guidance system. Yes, it’s about stress, worry, fear, anxiety, overwhelm. When you feel these things in your body, that means what you’re thinking is not true or not going to happen. You’ve probably heard me talk about how our stress is a habit. Worry is a habit. It’s not something that you just created in the moment, this moment in your life, worrying about these people that you love. This is something you watched either your mother, or your father, or your grandmother, whoever raised you, do. You watched them worry about the people around them, and then your mind picked this habit up as a way of being. Your mind determined for itself that worrying about other people is how you keep them safe. It’s part of your job. But it’s not true.
It’s a software system that’s running, and it will make you miserable. It keeps you from being present in the moment. It also keeps you from being happy. Worry in the body is a very stressful energy. It’s a very scary, stressful energy. I like to equate it to a negative prayer. If you’re ruminating on something negative happening or something negative going on in someone’s life, you’re putting it out there in the universe for that thing to happen. There’s no difference between, “Oh, please give me a bicycle. I really want a new bicycle. I would love to have a new bicycle,” and “Oh, don’t let my bicycle get stolen. Please don’t let my bicycle get stolen. I don’t want my bicycle to get stolen.” The energy is seen the same by the universe. Now, this may seem a little woo-woo to you, but it works. I have found that this works. I care about the people and worry about people in my life. You can use your internal guidance system to find and hold space for another person. This is what I recommend you do instead.
Now, if you don’t know about your internal guidance system, I’m not going to walk you through feeling it in this broadcast, because it takes too long. Go to zeninamoment.com, and there you’ll find a video that I’ll walk you through this extraordinary part of yourself that you were born with. You can physically feel it. You’ll know what I mean by opening and closing. I give you a little tutorial there. Here’s the thing. Let’s take bullying. Let’s say you have a child, and you’re afraid that they’re not having the friends that they should have at school. Maybe you’re afraid they’re alone a lot of the time on their recesses, or there’s a group of kids that are picking on them. They just don’t seem happy about going to school. Instead of worrying about the ramifications of being bullied, use your internal guidance system and create imaginary thought, imaginative thought, about them in their school situation until you find an opening.
Now, this is what’s really important. An opening is an expanded feeling in your body. Worry feels like an anxiety, constriction, a sick feeling in your solar plexus where your ribs come together, a tightening feeling in your chest, maybe a lump in your throat when you think about these things. These sensations are correlated with your internal guidance system. They’re closing, meaning what you’re thinking is not true or not going to happen for this person. It’s not just enough to stop worrying, because your mind needs something else to do. It’s going to keep ruminating on this person. Instead, think about your child finding friends, having a great time, having teachers that are engaged and paying attention, and then finding their way through a situation that’s rough for them. You’ll know when the situation that you hit is true, because you’ll feel these sensations that are uncomfortable and that are pressure they’ll release, they’ll relieve, they’ll open. I call it an opening. You’ll feel an expanded feeling in your body when you hit upon the thought that is true for that person. Doesn’t matter who they are. If it’s true for them, you’ll open. In holding those thoughts and engaging in your mind in that scenario for that person, I have found, and I believe, and it has been true that you’re holding space for them to become a match, a vibrational match, for that outcome. It makes it easier for them to achieve that outcome, because you’re holding that space for them.
I remember when I was a little girl, my mom really was into the Christian evangelist shows in the 80s. I don’t know if you were around back then or how old you are, but there was a whole series of Christian evangelists, lots of flamboyancy. I remember listening to one talk about the power of prayer of the grandma and going on and on about these grandmas who are out there praying for their grandbabies and their babies have such a foothold on prayer because of the power, and the love, and the wise outcome that they would envision for the people that they love, and that those grandmas… If you got a grandma praying for you, they used to say, you might as well just give up, because it’s going to work out her way for you. It’s similar to that. You have a powerful caring and a deep love or you wouldn’t be feeling this energy of worry for the people that you care about. If you use that instead of envisioning things going wrong for that person, but if you use that to envision what could go right and hold onto that for them…You can even share it with them if it opens you…the outcome is much more likely to occur. Not only that, when you engage with this person, you’re going to be holding that. They’re going to feel that positive outcome in their life, as well, even if you don’t say anything because of the way that you hold them. The way that you talk to them will be different. The way that you engage with them on the issue that they’re worried about. Maybe it’s a spouse and the work situation that they’re having. They’re not doing so well at work, and you envision this outcome. When you speak to them you’re like, “I think this is going to work out. I think this is going to get solved. I feel like you’re going to get the promotion. I feel like you’re going to start getting the respect that you deserve for the hard work that you’ve put in and the dedication.” The conversation is different than you having to leave your job, the worry that you have about them not being able to make the grade to the next level. The conversation changes when you hold this outcome. If it’s opening, it means that it’s true or it’s a truer thought leading to something even better for that person. This is my little tip for you for holding space, getting rid of worry as a negative prayer for the people around you, and becoming, really, a warrior of holding space for the most powerful outcome for the people in your life.
This is Zen in a Moment. Once again, please share. I have a request. I’d love for you to please, if you listen to this in iTunes or if you have an iTunes account, subscribe to my channel. Please rate the channel for this podcast and write a review. Doing those three things really makes a difference in iTunes, makes a difference in how I show up in the search results, allows more people to find this information so they, too, can be more relaxed, and happy, and move through their life in a way where their internal guidance system is giving them divine guidance towards their own success and happiness. I’m so thrilled that you listen. Until next time, I am sending you love and blessings.